A 3 donut 2 candybar kind of day...

Today has been a nail biting, self doubting, stress eating, deep sighing, happy tear crying, unforgettable kind of day!

The hearing was today at 1:30.  We busied ourselves with helping our neighbor paint and re-decorate, so we wouldn't be staring at the phone all day.  I was doing really good until about 1:15, then I started feeling really anxious.  That's when I ate the first candy bar. 

About 3:00, we got a call from the boys' caseworker.  She said the hearing well really well and that the judge decided the boys would be moving in with us!  Foster mom was given the option to have the boys moved out immediately or to cooperate with us through a transition phase.  Of course, she chose option B.  At first, I was honestly mad.  I was disappointed that the boys wouldn't be coming right away, and mad that foster mom was even getting options at this point.  I was feeling like it was all her fault this was taking so long, and now we're making accommodations for her??  And who knows if she'll even comply!  I laid in Josh's arms and cried some angry tears.  Texts flooded in congratulating us, but all I felt was sad.  I didn't want to feel sad.  I didn't expect that I would feel sad. 

Now, after hours have passed and I've had time to reflect, I see how silly I was being.  This is our story.  It's not perfect, but it's ours.  In the end, no matter how we get there, I'm going to have my boys!  My family will be complete!  This transition will make it easier for them to let go of their past, and bond with us over time.  It is best for them.  Also, I feel very strongly now that God has been testing me all along.  This whole process has been a test of faith.  I can see the finish line just up ahead, but there is one more obstacle.  I must be compassionate towards foster mom.  I believe God wants me to be bring her flowers, give her a big hug, and thank her with all my heart for the love and care she has provided to my sons.  I believe that in time we can be great friends, and that she can continue to be a huge part of the boys' lives.  This hasn't been easy on any of us, but it is a positive thing.  It's my job as the Mama to make sure everyone in this situation feels loved, accepted, special, wanted....even foster mom. 

Our first visit is Tuesday.  It will be at foster mom's house, since that is where the boys are most comfortable.  We will then pick them up the next Sunday for an overnight visit and then they will move in on February 25th.  I can't wait to look into their eyes for the very first time, to smell them, to hold them...  It's hard to believe that in two weeks, we'll all be here, sleeping under the same roof...as a forever family <3